the rest of break up until now has been full of the highest of highs as well as lowwwwww lows.
i've finally recovered from my two-month-long cold.
DISCLAIMER: the following contains an unlimited number of necessary stories, but I like to get them off my chest. skip ahead to the last four paragraphs or so if you'd like. I'd actually probably prefer that.
--starting with new years...I was supposed to meet AA this night at some point. we'd been messaging and texting a lot in the few days prior to this and were obviously both very excited to finally get together.
--the night began with a fender-bender on ice and I'll probably have to pay for damage done to both vehicles involved. also, my dad took comp & collision off my policy about a year ago, so it's all on me. after that I was just ready to get downtown.
--stopped at cubby's for some
liquid dinner and sprite to go with my
x-rated. I "ate," got a little buzzed, then stood in line to get into the at-capacity
Max (note: it's below 0 windchill tonight) when K&M call and let me know they're headed to
DC's around the corner. I leave my place in line without hesitation and head down to the queer cowboy bar and wait for my boys. while inside, I met some guy (either "derek" or "jared") who was also celebrating his birthday! super friendly fellow who remembered me throughout the evening. when K&M arrived, I got introduced to a handful of older gay men. we shared a couple of pitchers, did the electric slide (not my idea, btw), took a shot of tequilla (errr, tekilla...instantly a bad idea), and drank some free champagne (provided by
DC's) when the countdown to midnight failed. as soon as we toasted to the new year, we went down to
Flixx to meet our other boys (and AA!!).
--upon arrival at
Flixx, I spotted AA immediately and had her bestie (and my new/good friend) introduce us. soon after, drunk man C came over and did his best to encourage a belated midnight kiss between the two of us. it took us a little while and me another beer before I had the courage to just go for it. AA was taken aback, but didn't seem to mind at all, considering how the rest of the evening went. after a quick trip up to AA's apartment with her roommate for a couple of shots (soooooo much cheaper than buying them at the bar). on our way back into the bar from their back door we got swept up by a couple of guys looking for lady-loving ladies to "makeout with [their] friend!!" I at least hung out to meet the girl while AA and her roommate went back into the crowd. soooooooo glad I did!!!! this new girl, MJ, actually lives in the northwest and was in town just for the holidays to see family. turns out we'd actually met one another before, about a year ago, when I went with M to a little work/bday get-together at
blue. she used to work at the coffeeshop with M and is super close friends with her boss. we talked for probably 10-15 minutes while we were both being egged on by her friends to kiss, but since I'd been with AA that night (also, my coat was already upstairs at AA's place...) I decided it was best to stick with one girl for the night. luckily I easily found MJ on fb (also on AfterEllen.com, where S and I met. pretty sure MJ doesn't know I added her there yet though) anywayssssss, I went back and found A, we got some free beers from a nice older lesbian couple, and basically made out in the middle of the bar for a while until decided we should probably take it upstairs. we had a great time, I stayed the night. we were good kids...kept our clothes on ;) and watched Lost the next day until 3 when she had to go to work. after that day I didn't really hear back from her, even though we'd talked about getting together the next night. she tells me a week later that she's got someone now and doesn't think it's the best idea for us to hang out just us for awhile. makes sense. but it would have been nice for a heads up.
--the next night (new years day) I went out with K and my new hat E to the Max and met up with some other friends. we had a great time and I met another girl, R. R was great, feisty, snarky, a little more aggressive than I'm used to, but still very sweet. R was my first one-night-stand. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about everything that happened, but I don't regret it...that's a waste of time and energy. now I know that one-night-stands aren't something I want. I need a bigger connection than just that. we haven't talked since and never will again. she lives in Washington, DC so that makes it a little easier/more difficult (depending on how you see it). slept at K's that night and a very drunk, post-puking E decided to crawl into the twin bed with me and start feeling me up. at that point I was too drunk/tired to do anything about it. had a dream that I slept with K and honestly didn't know when I woke up if it had really happened or not. my first concern upon waking up was "OMG, DID I LOSE MY
GOLDSTAR LAST NIGHT?!!" I soon got confirmation that my beloved status was still unharmed and we went to
Wheatfields for a nice little Sunday brunch. we then brought our sickly buddy MD some chinese food and watched
Assassination of a High School President and
C.R.A.Z.Y. with him and hung out together until it was time to head back home.
through it all, my heart still aches and
misses you like we broke it all last night.
the rest of my winter break was spent staying up until 4 or 5 in the morning and sleeping until at least noon (usually later) every day, eating dinner, then repeating the cycle. BUT! MJ and I have been keeping in very close contact with at-least-once-daily emails :D she's honestly the best thing I've ever found, but distance is a huge obstacle, so even though we're mutually infatuated with one another, we're keeping it all very wholesome and taking it slow. in the past couple of weeks I've also met N (another girl living in the nw) and we've become very comfortable talking about anything and everything. there's a bit of an attraction there, but nothing serious...just something fun to take my mind off real-life things for a while. the last weekend of break was spent with JS (who's finally getting himself into the community :)) and K&M at bars, their apartment, and watching
Black Swan (again for me) at
Aksarben. the movie
made so much more sense the second time around.
moving back into an empty dorm room was kind of a letdown but I'm handling this single-living pretty well. I've got to enjoy it while it lasts because J's moving into the space with me in about a week or so.
my grandmother passed away yesterday afternoon (errr, two days ago now...it was Friday). she was 82. diagnosed with Parkinson's and had been in the very late stages. looking back we can definitely identify signs, but blamed it on her diabetes and other things. she'd been tossed back and forth between the hospital, rehab center/nursing home, and home so much in the last couple of months that I don't blame her body for being so worn out. the hardest part is seeing my grandpa hurt and cry. he's always such a reserved person and you know he cares, he's just always kept everything in; never showed when he was upset or mad, never yelled, always ready and willing to help out wherever he was needed. just the sweetest man ever. i can't imagine what he's feeling right now. or ever how my mom and her siblings are doing with it all. they're either all very strong, or it hasn't really hit them quite yet.
classes are going very well so far and I'm really looking forward to my final semester. I'm really starting to miss weather conditions that allow for biking around town. I've been looking into
LVC more and am even considering applying at a program further from
home.
