by weed as a best friend
by a vibrator as "the best way"
by a boy I've never met ("a boy-crush") as something I don't ever want to think about
and I'm just stuck here.
we're creating distance that's never been here.
distance has only ever made things messier for me.
we're doing it on purpose this time.
making a mess of something that is perfect.
nothing, not anyone ever, has made me so happy.
now you're pushing away.
I don't know if I would be happy again if you weren't around.
I need a new start, an honest-to-god fresh beginning.
eating better, biking, taking care of me, spending time with family, saving up and paying out, protecting what's already mine.
I need to get out of here.
it can't fall apart this time
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