Lost and Found

lost my DivaCup?

I have a feeling one of my parents saw it sitting out in the bathroom and tossed it.

they could have at least asked me what it was, right?

Dorm Life

youtube series all day long.

half-way through break.

probably should have been more productive...

Lunch Date (revised)

it ended up just being one hat, a hag, and a dyke.

but the night ended up with eight hats, a hag, and a dyke.

oh, and drinking, smoking, and catch phrase.

and new potential?

soup and salads all day long

Lunch Date

what do you get when you cross two hats, a hag, and a dyke?

my lunch today.

Rinse, Repeat

"[...,] but your feelings are stronger than mine."

no shit.

it's the same with everyone

Gotta kiss!

your latest post is a fking stab in my gut.

you're excited about a kiss and it wasn't me. but last night/this morning it was me. were you excited then?

I want answers about what you want from me, but I'm so scared to face reality. don't mess with me if you don't mean it. please.

Looking Up

staying up until eight a.m. and I wasn't even sleepy.

I like you. and without hesitation you told me you like me too.

are we going to do anything more about this?

I'm really happy where we are right now and don't want to complicate it.

Tortoise Shell

I think I forgot about you for an entire day.

that's progress, right?

Gender Roles

I feel like I'm not femmy enough for you.

I have a vag, isn't that enough?

we're not dating, but we're not just fking.

we're somewhere in between

Short Sale

"I did enjoy it...However, I sold myself short"

talk about a low blow.

Needed

uhmmmm feelings for someone I didn't realize I had? we didn't talk about it this morning, but maybe nothing needs to be said.

the only reason I don't want a relationship for awhile is because they all seem to fk me over. I'm bitter and have generalized discrimination towards women/relationships. we've both been hurt recently...so maybe that's all that was happening last night. commiseration?

making so many good/new friends recently and it's a nice fresh start.

Slow It Down 'Til Christmastime

I saw your entire other world tonight but you weren't there

Cough Cough

finally took some medicine last night after my roommate insisted I do something about my cold.

the benzocaine lozenges can only do so much and they're just temporary relief.

Changing Majors

over the weekend I finally made the decision to change my major.

dropping the teaching endorsement and sticking with just studio arts.

it's the only way I can still graduate in may.

I've got meetings with several professors tomorrow about getting into classes/onto waiting lists for closed courses for the spring semester.

it's going to be hell trying to get into things that are somewhat relevant.

listening to mewithoutYou tonight...first time in years since I really listened to them.

"she's like a hot cloth

on a fevered head and like a needle

she leads me

oh, but I follow like thread.

but you untied me,

didn't you untie me?"

Early to Bed

Jeffree Star's shows are so dirty.
So many young kids...felt like I was back in high school.
Two girls there were in a class I taught from practicum...extremely awkward. I don't think they recognized me. I guess that's the plus side to being conservative in the classroom.

felt bad for having a slumber party with a different crowd. we had a really good time anyways. note: skyy infusions is not the same as white wine. some people apparently cannot tell the difference.

watching my nephews tonight. we did so many puzzles. put them to bed a couple of hours ago, now king corning it up.

Head of Red

there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

you crossed me when you crossed it.

I got over you quicker than I fell for you and you know I fall fast.

Give It Up

a month and a half past and it's still not good enough...missed by six.

deadlines are long gone and it doesn't seem to matter.

have to entertain a party of four tomorrow while avoiding everyone around here.

I don't want to repeat the cycle, but at least this way it won't be remembered.

i'm out of category

most of this doesn't apply directly, but a few lines hit hard

Tree Theory

every time I go and put myself out on a limb, the branch breaks.

can't I just turn my emotions off for a few hours?

How I See it

It's not that you couldn't give it away, it's that you never wanted to. It was new and scary. I was scared shitless...I flew hundreds of miles to meet someone I loved but had never met. It just got better until

Movie Tonight

Despicable Me is playing on campus tonight.

Seeing that movie was one of the few things we promised we'd do together. Think of this as a big F you. :)

Hung Up

I am everything I never thought I would be.

I smoke and drink and I am much more promiscuous than I like to admit.

Unreliable and selfish.

Optimistic on the outside, but once I get talking I'm the biggest Debbie Downer you'll meet.

I called to get help today but hung up when they answered.

I want to go paint just to get these things out of me. But then I'll have less time to do the things I should be doing (of which I have no real intention on completing). I like this stuff... (see "Pukers" Series in Paintings)

Tomorrow's my last chance for reading/writing. I'm past-due for absolutely everything else. I'm ready for it all to be done, but I know it never will be.

Comeback

p.s. I'm trying to make a comeback on here.

Also, I've discovered that all of my past posts (all deleted) can be read in full through Google Reader. I'm not exactly pleased about this, but I can't figure out a way to get rid of them.

Early December List

Some things I've figured out this year (more specifically, this autumn):

= bitterness seems to help get over people who hurt me

= things snowball too easily

= I won't stay in the education field very long...just not my thing. I still care about art and public education, but I honestly cannot see myself teaching. Still not sure what I'll end up doing. I'm not in any hurry to try and plan the rest of my life quite yet. Too many things are up in the air right now. Even if I find some way to work in art ed. on the national level I think I'll be much happier. I've also been seriously considering some kind of work in queer advocacy. HRC would be nice, but I'd like to work for some organization that's more open to the trans community.

= I'm never birthing a child. I don't have any maternal 'need' to be fulfilled; if I decide I want kids with/without a partner, I'll adopt.

= I'm happiest on chemicals

= no matter how hard I try to convince myself otherwise, I will always fall hard and fast (and usually for the least available ones)

= I'm not tied down to anyone or any place right now and I'm fine with that

Mondays

Mondays are so full. It's my catching up before the week really begins; tightening up loose ends for a temporary fix until the next week. Problem this time is that now there's only one more 'next week' left.

Glad I could at least find a missed connection.

I Buried a Bone

The secret's too slow and we're too fast

http://www.last.fm/music/Blind+Pilot/_/I+Buried+A+Bone

Coffee Date

her cheeks blush even brighter when the sun glows through those tortoise shell glass frames

why do the ones least available always stand out the most to me?

Hope

It's all caught up with me.

I never really tried stopping it, so I guess I can't complain. I can't say you didn't warn me because each and every one of you knew it would happen...I just hoped it didn't.

"Right place, wrong time." Hope doesn't do shit.